Jeanne Dielman: Lessons straight from the housewife’s handbook
Jeanne Dielman: Lessons straight from the housewife’s handbook
Delphine Seyrig is the eponymous character in Jeanne Dielman, 23 Commerce Quay, 1080 Brussels (1975).
This feature contains minor spoilers about Jeanne Dielman, 23 Commerce Quay, 1080 Brussels (1975).
It’s March, and it’s the month where we celebrate women of every race, color, social status, sexual orientation, and especially occupation. As stated by Dutta (2021), while it might seem that the world is progressing in terms of women empowerment in the workplace, it’s actually far from the reality. There’s a challenge in representation, in the pay gap where women, not to mention women of color, earn 77.9 cents for every dollar men earn; there’s also a challenge in sexual harassment and so much more.
Even now in what we call the modern age, women still struggle to get a job without being underestimated because of their gender. Or if they do land one, there are still challenges to face within their work environment. But straying away from that negativity, women are more empowered nowadays as we hear various job opportunities arise for them. There is now more female representation in different areas of society. This month, we celebrate all of them, especially those that do not get the spotlight—the housewives.
The housewife’s work gets overlooked most of the time. We don’t call them professionals and they aren’t even compensated for their day-to-day occupation. One could ask why it is that they aren’t talked about that much when just in the Philippines, there are 11.2 million women who are not in the labor force because of “unpaid care work” (“Bill to compensate housewives filed,” 2019). Thankfully, a movie so ahead of its time was released in 1975 by Belgian’s visionary filmmaker Chantal Akerman.
After her well received Je Tu Il Elle, Akerman felt that it was time for Jeanne Dielman, 23 Commerce Quay, 1080 Brussels—which I am going to refer to as Jeanne Dielman hereafter—to be put out there for the world to see. Clocking in at a lengthy 201 minutes, it’s a slice of life movie that contains little to no dialogue and deals with the eponymous character’s day-to-day schedule from scrubbing her son’s shoes to sewing clothes to the rhythm of Für Elise. This feature article is my attempt to give some life lessons to be learned from Jeanne, and also to convince you on why you should spend 3 hours watching a woman do some household chores.
Jeanne sews a piece of clothing for her son.
We all need someone to live our lives with
Again, this film was released in 1975. There were no smartphones during that time, so if you want to entertain yourself, you have to go outside. You meet up with your friends, you socialize—basically you make an effort to make yourself busy as opposed to today’s lifestyle where the newest shows are one click away and can easily entertain and kill your time. Easy, right? Enter Jeanne. Left alone every single day in their house as her son leaves for school, she spends her day washing the dishes, folding clothes and some other chores. She goes out only to buy stuff she needs for her “tasks” such as groceries to cook for their meals.
Jeanne’s world is that of an ordinary working person—she wakes up early in the morning, she works day and night tending to her house, she cleans whatever catches her eye even if it isn’t necessarily unclean, and sleeps after she’s satisfied with everything. Afterwards, she repeats the cycle. Her life is scheduled every day. One could even liken her to a robot whose every move is calculated. It’s as if she has no time for recreational activities as she is intent on following her timetable. But even someone like her needs some company.
Crucial to Delphine Seyrig’s character is her family background. Her husband died years before the film’s setting, and she lives alone with her son, Sylvain. It’s just the two of them in the house, alone together. But despite the apparent coldness between the two, Jeanne admits when asked by the shoe repairman if she’s happy with him, “What would I do without him?” Therein lies the mother’s heart, withstanding even the callousness that fills their house whenever she strikes a conversation with her son. She has the mother’s instinct to take care of her child, and she does not let anything hinder her from doing so.
If I were asked the same question by that shoe repairman about my mom, I would say the same. According to Sreenivasan and Weinberger (2016), emotional connectivity remains a core part of being a person as humans need each other for a necessity that remains essential for psychological survival. Jeanne doesn’t make a fuss over it, but she needs Sylvain to live. He’s the reason why she presses on with her life. She doesn’t know it, but I know from personal experience that Sylvain also feels the same.
My mom is also a housewife and she has been one ever since she gave birth to my eldest sister. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t work hard. Every day, she also follows her own schedule that I still don’t get after all these years. She wakes up; she listens to a preaching of the local church’s pastor; she cleans the house; she cooks us lunch; she waters her plants which she makes a living out of selling; she cleans again; she cooks us dinner; and she goes to sleep. Both Jeanne and my mom are hardworking housewives and I’ll admit, I don’t thank her enough for all the things she does for us. This movie made me realize my shortcomings as a son, and like a microscope, it gave me clarity on my mother’s life. Before this film, I did not have a single idea how hard it must be to be a housewife. Now I know, mom.
Jeanne drinking coffee at her favorite cafe spot.
Just because you are with a person doesn’t mean you’re actually “there”
There’s a term called absent presence which is used to describe divided consciousness, where one is physically present but immersed in a technological world of engagement such as through smartphones and tablet devices (“Let Me Have Your Divided Attention,” 2011). Gergen (2002) gave a perfect example of this in his book wherein a guy walks into a room happily as he sees his two close friends. What he didn’t know was that the first is jamming to her Walkman and the other is too busy reading his book. That is Jeanne’s dilemma in the movie. Her son makes it feel as though she is present but simultaneously made absent.
In the film, we are not treated merely as spectators. The immersive filmmaking gives us an opportunity to be closer to the characters. It’s as if we are in the movie with Jeanne whenever she cooks and prepares their food. The film was even shot in realtime with minimal cuts, which helps us to resonate with her and put ourselves in her shoes. We are with her in the whole duration of the film, maybe even more so than her son.
As stated by Novotney (2019), loneliness can occur even when people are in the company of others—on the subway, in a classroom, or even with their spouses and children. In addition to that, loneliness is not synonymous with chosen isolation or solitude. One can choose to be alone without necessarily feeling lonely. People from the outside looking in could say that Jeanne and Sylvain’s relationship is complicated. It’s in the dinner scenes where you can tell that there is an invisible barrier that results into the mother and son’s distant bond. I say they just need to have a talk, a real conversation without Sylvain reading his book.
This is the part where it hit me the most. My three sisters are away living their lives with their partners, and as the youngest in our family, I have yet to finish my studies. My dad lives far from us for a reason I won’t discuss further, so it just leaves me and my mom. We don’t have any pets or close neighbors to talk to, just the two of us. But the thing is, I haven’t had a perfect relationship with my mother. It’s even hard for me to open up to her, which I do to my friends with ease. And I know it’s primarily my fault.
I saw my mom in Jeanne in her efforts to make things right with their relationship. Those silent scenes are so awkward that it’s depressing. She already did her part; Sylvain needed only to engage in their conversation. This is a lesson we must apply in our daily lives. Being present doesn’t necessarily mean you’re there with that person. What matters is how you engage with each other, either in conversation or in action.
Jeanne eats dinner with her son, Sylvain. He is played by Jan Decorte.
A scheduled life is a reason for burnout
The first two hours of the movie introduces us to the protagonist’s situation. As a housewife, she received a life sentence of tasks that she ticks off one by one on her to-do list. Now, one could say the film feels repetitive as she does the same things in the three days. I beg to differ. The first day was essential to give us a sense of who Jeanne is. The second day is to see how strict she is when it comes to her schedule and we slowly have an idea of the film’s main points by this part. The third day is for us to assimilate this particular argument I have and also learn why it’s important to live untethered to one’s comfort zone or routine.
Gupta (2021) said that while following strict timetables, we become trapped and bored. A lack of freedom can be felt after living a repetitive day-to-day schedule. That, I believe, is a reason for burnout. Jeanne’s third day is a case for this argument as we can see her lose her calm towards the end. It was on this day that she gets thrown off by the little things that thwarted her perfect list—the spoon falling, the closed bank, not having to sit in her usual area at the cafe.
Another lesson that can be related to this is that sticking to one’s comfort zone can be a bad thing. Jeanne’s comfort zone in this case is her routine. As humans, it’s common for us that we have a hard time going out of our comfort zone. It’s called that for a reason, we feel safe in it and we don’t see a major cause to give ourselves unnecessary trouble by breaking out of it. But as we saw from Jeanne who was so used to having an unbothered, free-flowing schedule, it can be a burden to us.
Sticking to what we are familiar with feels like the safest option, but it’s actually the opposite. It makes life easier, sure, but in the long run, it just adds unneeded stress. One thing in particular from the movie that I wanted to relate with this was when Jeanne went out to find a replacement for Sylvain’s coat’s missing button. She wants to find the exact model of the button but to no avail. She was offered by a salesperson to just buy a whole new set of buttons which she turns down. It is a metaphor on Jeanne’s character, on how she wants everything to be as she thought it, an obsessive behavior that is reflective of her sticking to her routine.
It’s alright for us to follow a routine but we shouldn’t be so scared of breaking it that life feels like a system rather than the system being a part of life (Gupta, 2021). There are moments when we forget we don’t have total control over our lives. Everything in life doesn’t have to go our way—it’s just the way it is. What’s important is how we accept the things that happen to us, and we can easily do this by slowly stepping out of our comfort zone. Do not let small things throw you off because sometimes, it’s actually these—however out of place they may be—that can make you realize what to improve in your life. And one of those improvements is stepping out of your comfort zone.
One of the pivotal scenes in the movie—a dropped spoon.
Solitude can lead to loneliness, and distractions only make things worse
Throughout the film, we see Jeanne invading the screen for minutes in long takes. Most of the time, she’s doing something. Or more accurately, she’s distracting herself by doing something. But in some parts, she’s just there sitting in silence and savoring the stillness that covers her. It’s a common belief that being alone occasionally can be healthy and essential for one’s sanity. When does it become unhealthy? In the film, that gray area is explored as we see Jeanne, all by herself, face her loneliness in a detrimental way.
Her current situation gave me an epiphany. It’s good to have some time for yourself and self-contemplate. As stated by Greenwood (2018), meditation allows people to be more calm, present, and balanced. This ancient technique can be done through embracing solitude (Dix, 2014). Spending some time alone from time to time is good. What’s bad is having these moments for a long period of time which is one of Jeanne’s dilemmas in the movie. Reactive loneliness is painful, but chronic loneliness is torturous. Chronic loneliness is most likely to set in when individuals cannot satisfy their social needs which leads to major negative health consequences (Novotney, 2019).
It is obvious that Jeanne deals with social isolation and loneliness in the movie. Now the difference between the two is that the former is an objective lack of social relationships or having little to no social contact while the latter is a subjective feeling of isolation. One can experience social isolation without feeling lonely, and one can also be lonely when surrounded by others as emphasized in the second point. Setting aside these differences, it is a known fact that the two are linked (“Understanding the Effects of Social Isolation,” 2020) and are both challenges encountered by Jeanne. She faces social isolation as she’s alone in their house most of the time, and evidence of her loneliness can be found in her obsessive behavior in cleaning.
The strongest and most effective form of distraction is the kind that you don’t realize is distracting you. In an interview with Nir Eyal, he mentioned that distractions are caused by a desire to escape emotional discomfort such as loneliness (“Strategies for Preventing and Ignoring Distractions,” n.d.). As she is a housewife, Jeanne doesn’t realize how her behavior and regimented routine is actually a facade that just makes things worse for her because she hasn’t got a single clue of her loneliness. Jeanne’s coping strategy is emotion-focused as she does not face her problem head on, but instead, she makes cleaning, or any other form of distraction she can think of, an outlet of her emotions.
One funny thought I had while watching Jeanne Dielman was shouting at her through the screen, saying, “For the love of God, please just take a rest!” But Jeanne’s situation is a tough one because even if she takes a rest or if she does something productive to distract herself, neither is good for her as they tend to prolong her problem. What we must do is face our problems to live a healthier, stress-free life. In her case, it might be solved through confronting her son or going out with friends more often. In yours and mine, it might just be time to cut off some distractions in our life, too.
Jeanne having a moment of stillness, embracing her solitude.
Sacrifices are a must
There are instances in life where we are offered no choice but to sacrifice what we have—either material or not. It can be as little as giving your last pizza to your younger sister and as big as saving a person’s life by offering yours. One of the distinguishing qualities of mothers is that they are able to give up what they have just to let their children be happy. It is a form of language for them to express their motherly love, by giving their cherished ones what they want. In the movie, we get to see this sacrificing nature of a mother through Jeanne who needs to sustain her and her son’s needs.
Just before the five-minute mark, we see an old man come inside Jeanne’s house and proceed into what looks like her bedroom. We have no idea yet and we don’t even know about Jeanne’s character at this point. They enter the room together and close the door after. The camera is left pointed at the hallway which turns from well-lit into dark in a few seconds. It seems that time has passed, and the two go outside of the room where the guy gives Jeanne money, saying, “See you next week, then.” and shakes her hand.
At first, I wasn’t sure of what to make of it as it is just the beginning of the movie. But then it happens again on the second and third day. I was sure Jeanne was having male clients come to her house to offer them sex in exchange for money. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (2020) on a survey of about 60,000 households, 97.5 percent had at least one employed parent in 2019 among married-couple families with children, which means that the other half of those people are most likely to stay at home and take care of their children. We can just assume that before her husband died, she was already a housewife tending to her son full-time. And now that he’s gone, she has no solid source of income as she was not supposed to be the breadwinner of their family.
My mother is the same in the way that my dad’s the breadwinner of our family too, and she has never worked to earn money for our family since they married. Then there came a time where he couldn’t be depended on for our financial needs that my mom stepped in and held the reins of our family. She started buying and selling cars which was a big help to us. I just have a huge amount of respect for my mother because she didn’t let her lack of work experience be a hindrance in helping our family. Currently, she’s working a little easy now by selling some plants as my sisters are already working and are helping pay for my studies.
All in all, being a housewife in itself is a major sacrifice already. While the other family members are still sound asleep, the housewife is preparing their breakfast. It is a devotion of a huge chunk of their life on the house and the family. The lesson to be learned from this is to know how to compromise as not all things can go your way. The movie makes sense of this point with its soul-crushing ending where our protagonist finally succumbs to her predicament à la Taxi Driver and Manila in the Claws of Light. We must always be prepared to sacrifice what we have and think of everything we own as temporary.
Jeanne puts her money earned from sex work into a pot.
I never knew that making coffee repeatedly can be so dramatic and tragic until I saw this movie. I also never thought I could have so many thoughts from a film with so little dialogue. Chantal Akerman called this one a love film for her mother, and I believe this applies to all mothers, especially the housewives out there. Jeanne Dielman is another one of those art imitates life moments, but one that was done so perfectly and full of emotion that you can’t tell it’s actually pausable—real life caught on film. It’s an experience, like most slow movies, that could easily go wrong if not observed properly.
The movie’s cinematography is also laudable thanks to her longtime collaborator Babette Mangolte. I loved how each scene makes Jeanne stand out because of the minimalistic production design and color schemes. You have no choice but to pay full attention to Jeanne since her surroundings are stagnant in contrast to her who doesn’t stop working. And of course, the way that the 3 days in her life were told in 3 hours was also a cool thing. It had the right amount of authenticity with its realtime-shot sequences that know when to stop.
Jeanne drinks the coffee that she made.
It’s a little funny because in writing this, I was strict on following my own format which made me recall Jeanne’s daily routine all over again. It’s kind of amazing how movies can transcend the silver screen, as I still feel Jeanne even now as a part of me. Every time I do my household chores, however mundane they are, they bring me back to her. And whenever that happens, it brings a smile to my face as a thought pops into my mind. A housewife is many things—a cook, a nurse, a gardener, a counselor, most importantly a mother, and more—but never unproductive as some would say.
Jeanne Dielman is an ode to mothers and housewives alike for their important contributions to society that often get taken for granted. It is Akerman’s masterpiece and a timeless work of feminist cinema. I love this movie so much since, like I’ve mentioned multiple times now, my mom is also a housewife. I have no clue what she does when we all leave the house, and this is a genius way of giving us a glimpse of that. This month, as we celebrate women of all types, may we never forget the unsung heroines who raised us and made us who we are in the first place.
Works Cited
Bill to compensate housewives filed (2019). Manila Standard. Retrieved from https://www.manilastandard.net/lgu/ncr/289231/bill-to-compensate-housewives-filed.html
Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2020). Employment characteristics of families — 2019 [Press release]. Retrieved from https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/famee.pdf
Dix, M. (2014). How To Master The Art of Being Alone - About Meditation. From About Meditation: https://aboutmeditation.com/master-the-art-of-being-alone/
Dutta, S. (2021). The Challenges Faced By Women In The Workplace. From Vantage Circle: https://blog.vantagecircle.com/women-in-the-workplace/
Gergen, K. J. (2002). The challenge of absent presence. Perpetual Contact: Mobile Communication, Private Talk, Public Performance. pp. 227-241. doi: 10.1017/CBO9780511489471.018
Greenwood, C. (2018). Why meditation can be bad for you. From Insider: https://www.insider.com/why-meditation-can-be-bad-2018-3#:~:text=It%20revealed%20that%20meditation%20can,re%2Dliving%20of%20traumatic%20memories.
Gupta, P. (2021). Why You Should Break The Routine, Sometimes | On My Canvas. From On My Canvas: https://www.onmycanvas.com/break-the-routine/
Let Me Have Your Divided Attention (2011), CareerTipster. Retrieved from http://careertipster.com/education/let-me-have-your-divided-attention-the-problem-of-reverse-absent-presence/
Novotney, A. (2020). The risks of social isolation. Monitor on Psychology, 50(5). http://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/05/ce-corner-isolation
Strategies for Preventing and Ignoring Distractions (n.d.), Goop. Retrieved from https://goop.com/wellness/mindfulness/how-to-limit-distractions/
